Hissy fit

So, Saturday morning. 6.30am. Alarm goes off. Am I startng to take this a bit too seriously?

Ah well, up I get, down with the porridge, on with all the gear and out we go. This time I'm taking the bike up to the canal in the car instead of riding it there. Not because there's a bloody long hill on the way which means I'm usually knackered before even starting on the canal, but because I have to be back by 10:30am to go on the local pub's 'Fun' run at 11:00am. Not running but walking it with the kids thankfully.

So eventually it's 7:30am and I'm on the canal. It's bloody cold and I'm looking to do a 30 miler so I've decided that I'm heading the Leeds way, because after 15 miles I can have a brew at Barrowford locks and turn round and come home. I didn't notice on the way there but I must have had the wind behind me but I certainly noticed it in my face later!

The last time I went this way the topsoil had been ripped off along a decent stretch of the towpath between Altham and Hapton and we ended up riding over the top of whatever it was built with in the late 1700's (manly corners of broken bricks giving a less than pleasant ride!). Fortunately it's now been resurfaced with shale. Unfortunately it's not been compacted yet which meant that after riding all of 2 miles on it I was sweating like a Blackpool donkey carrying Fern Britton on a Summer's day!

The droplets of sweat pouring off my nose were coalescing with the fluids coming out of my nose due to my cold. The wind meant that my frequent Farmers Blows were occasionally misdirected either across my cheek or onto my shoulder. By the time I got to Burnley I must have looked like Slimer from Ghostbusters! Not pleasant!

Anyway, onwards and upwards as they say. I got off the towpath at the Gannow tunnel and wound my way around the cycle paths at Gannow top before getting back on. The slope down the hill to the towpath has either an off-road ramp or a flight of steps. I chose the ramp because after attempting riding down half of the flight of steps last time I found that they're just far enough apart so that about a quarter of a second after back wheel lands, your front wheel goes down the next step. This has the effect of making you look like an clockwork chicken pecking the ground all the way down! The unavoidable noise of "Ooh, Aah, ow, ooh, oow, oh, sh..,..ii..,..ii.,..it!" as you go down does nothing for the street cred either! (That and having laughed for 5 minutes at Keith's last attempt).

I flew down the ramp thinking "Nice one, I won't have to pedal for at least 200 yards" ..... and had to suddenly slam my brakes on at the bottom due to a dopey looking Labrador standing slap bang in the middle of the towpath. It's owner looked at me like I was mad, when in fact it was he that looked like an extra out of Deliverance! (.. other side of Burnley you know ..)

Once past Gannow, it's a fairly smooth ride for the next 10 miles or so to Barrowford. It should be fairly pleasant too but, and it's a big but, the towpath is infested with nasty hissing bastard Geese! I hate them! You can see them from miles away and your heart sinks. The closer you get, the dread increases, because you just know that the aggressive arseholes are going to go for you as you pass!

In three groups of the bird versions of Demon spawn, I think maybe 6 went for me! Luckily all were on the water side of the towpath, because I wouldn't try to ride past them on the other, I'd definitely get wet!

Only one came close enough for a Shimano cycling shoe to be flicked out at it but sadly I didn't decapitate the bugger! Next times a winner!

Finally I got to Barrowford locks and had been dreaming of the hot cup of sweet tea I was going to buy for about 6 miles. I counted myself a litttle unlucky that the shop didn't open until 10 and I'd got there at 8.30! .... Balls! Must remember that for next time.

After a 10 minute breather, a load of cold water and 3 Lucozade tablets, back I went. The wind was in my face this time and it got cold pretty quick! But I didn't mind because the 'bastard Geese' were all in the water. If I wasn't trying to get home in the same time it took me to get to Barrowford I might have got off and thrown something at the buggers. Next time I might borrow and take a catapult! (I'm only kidding before you go all RSPCA on me!)

I made it back to Altham in only 10 minutes more than the way out. Quite pleased with that as the wind was in my face and I had to slow down more often due to dog walkers, fishermen and the obligatory carrier bag and Stella can carrying alcoholics around Burnley. Must have been a pretty good night though as their bags looked fairly empty.

Home and a shower and then the fun run at 11:30. No running involved but hey, I'd done my exercise for the day thanks.

With a bit of luck the new bike will arrive on Tuesday so hopefully the next ride will be easier and more comfy. Might even go for a PB and 55 miles. We'll see.